I Receive All Things From His Hand

I was watching this movie with some of my new church family down here in San Jose called Defiance. If you haven't seen it I will give you a little overview. I didn't actually watch the whole thing because I was talking on the phone for over half of it. But basically it is about the Jews during the time of WWII I believe, and there was a group of them trying to get away from the Germans. Well they had lost everything and tons of them were killed and even more were dying from sickness. They were out in the forest and even just trying to get food was a risk. Well I walked in near the end of the movie to this Rabi saying a prayer to God. He was saying for God to chose another people because they did not want to go through these tough times any more. Man that hit me like a semi. Just earlier I was saying the end part of that prayer that I didn't want to go through these tough times any more. But it made me realize that there is always a price to pay. I could live the easy life and decide that I didn't want to belong to God, or I can push forward through the pain and know God's hand in my life like few do. It made me realize that if I could trade all the pain I have ever felt for not knowing what I know of my Savior, there isn't a chance in hell I would do it. It gave me fresh conviction that no matter how difficult or ominous the task seems, I need to press in with all my strength and move forward in the calling God put on my life.

I have been so blessed this last week by the fellowship and amazing people here in San Jose. I never expected to meet people I would love so quickly and cherish so deeply. I didn't plan on dealing with pain in leaving this place after just two weeks. I didn't know that God would bless me with the fruit of my labor as He did. But I receive all things from His hand, weather good or bad, and I trust that it is all bringing about more amazing things than I would have ever dreamed for myself. I have been trying to pray all morning and it is so much harder to do it alone. I have done things alone for a long time now but am realizing the weight of that solitude after being able to partner with the Calvary Chapel here. Please please pray for me. Pray that I would have the determination to labor in prayer and that I wouldn't be playing the defence but watching God be victorious. It is going to be a very hard next few days for me. My emotions are frenzied and stress is at a peek. Wash me in Your word Lord Jesus and quiet me with Your love!